Tzar and Tzarina of Coolness

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Tzar and Tzarina of Coolness

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It has come to the attention of my colleague (Mari) and I (Ben) that we are the coolest people we know, so cool in fact that we set the standard of cool, give the people something to aspire too and a goal in life. We feel that this quality of ours goes unrewarded for all the good we do and would like a paid government position named something like Tsar or Tsarina of cool in recompense. This we feel is a realistic request and is in no way an attempt to avoid having to work for the rest of our lives.

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